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why am i constantly in two-minds over this relationship? | |
i have been dating a guy for about 5 months now. throughout this time i have been in two-minds about whether he is the right man for me to marry. he is a nice guy, we get along well, but he isn't as spiritually mature as i am - i think he has back slided somewhat. i remember feeling very convicted in the beginning of the relationship, particularly in response to sermon's i had heard about making right choices and about doing god's will, as though god wanted me to break of the relationship - however i tried to put it out of my mind. i often have feelings of uneasiness about the relationship, yet the times when i have felt closest to god, such as in prayer or worship i have not felt as though god was telling me to break up with this guy. i received a word of prophesy a few weeks ago from a well-known preacher - 'you don't have to be broken, god has a good plan for your life' - with no reference to the uneasiness i have felt regarding my boyfriend. i feel like i am hearing a million voices full of mixed-messages. i really do not want to end the relationship with this guy, i feel like i can be a good spiritual influence. however, i hope that my strong desire to stay with him is not clouding my judgment in terms of hearing god's voice. i am tired of being in torment about this - how can i make a decision about this relationship and stay firm once i've made it?
Answers:
From: Bill
please read and continue to pray about your situation. before i became a christian i married a women who proclaimed to be a christian. she went to church. now that i have become a christian i am wanting to let go of the things of this world. i want to be the church not attend church. when i mention it to my wife she just thinks i am trying to punish her(disconnecting directv). i want to study the bible more. however, when i am reading the bible at my desk she gets mad. we attended a marriage summit at our church. we were asked to pray for our spouses openly. i prayed for her and when it was time for her to pray for me she stated that she can't do it and has never prayed for me. now that i am in this marriage i feel that i am in bondage. so my answer is this, never put anything before your relationship with god. i wish i became a christian before i got married. i would of waited for god to tell me if it was right and not by my own thought process.
From: mrs T
in life we truly need to wait on jesus , voice yes he do give us sign and warning too. do this young man fellowship with you at bible study ,prayer and worship and in your church ministries ? are you and him as one in you relationship? respectful faithful, mature do mean alot or is he ready to mature with jesus christ word little by little . love is important but jesus christ love conquer it all .
From: Jen
let me tell you based on my own experience...i would not pursue this relationship if i were you. i've gone through this before, having an "uneasiness", confusion, and some "red flags" i dismissed rationalizing that my then-fiancee was a nice christian man who enjoyed going to church, and professed to have good values. i married him & those "red flags" came back to haunt me. out of the six years we were married, there were more problems & stress you can imagine than times of bliss, but yes, he still liked going to church. those "values" he claimed to have went out the door so fast, after some problems that could've easily been solved, that it got my head spinning. i just couldn't believe this was the "good christian" man i married. on top of that, he is the most dishonest person i have ever known.
i've gone through much heartache with this man. unbelievably, i still love him & we have a daughter together, but i wouldn't consider remarrying him. i realize now that you need to spend a lot of time w/an individual before marrying him, praying about it, making sure there is no "uneasiness" (it could be god warning you) and i have a good book i recommend you reading: "is he the one for me" by dr. barbara deangelis.
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