ive been a committed christian bout 13 years, after 2 divorces i ended up living in a campground and after months of prayer and wrestling w/god he radically changed my life. some how i felt he wanted me at a church i didn't want to go to. i wanted to search for a church that was really sold out for christ (i feel the churches in america has lost its fire) (i wanted to meet christian who would die for jesus) ( and i have) but he said go to zion do missions and he'll take care of things, so i have worked for a mission team for near 9 years (in summers) and i started a street ministry in atlantic city. god has blessed this beyond anything i could have imaged. one of the ac churches lets us use there building we have about 10 volunteers from 3 different churches and we fill the church with street people we developed many relationships and seen lives changed. it is awesome! my question is i always felt the pain inside is the motivator to drive me forward (if i lost that pain would i still want to help?) without that pain could i still empathize with a hurting world? i often pray that the pain would stay and make me a servant who connects with those hurting. sometimes i think the hurts inside are too much. i don,t want to do anything that would hinder the ministry. if given the choice i'll keep the pain if it means ministry goes forward. tonight i'm weak but tomorrow i'll be in the street it'll be worth it
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